Lastly, we NEED to separate weight and beauty. They aren’t related. We need to stop telling ourselves they are. Attractiveness is an incredibly complicated concept, and its definition changes from year to year, culture to culture, and person to person. On of my favourite classes in my psychology undergraduate degree was Evolutionary Psychology. Which was basically a class about sexual selection. The biggest lesson was that attraction usually has more to do with indicators of health (ability to reproduce) and wealth (ability to provide for children), which is going to differ at different times, in different places, and to different people. Which tells me, it’s hot to be healthy and have your sh*t together. And there are cultures and times in history where higher weights were LITERALLY the standard of beauty. I think we as a society need to realize a one size fits all beauty standard doesn’t make sense. If the “in” body type can change, why can’t we start accepting all body types as beautiful all the time? I think we need to start recognizing that there are many ways to define beauty, and that there are no types of beauty are lesser. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t look in the mirror sometimes and wish my skin was clearer and my love handles would go away. Those thoughts are brief though, and quickly replaced by what I love about my body and what amazing things it is capable of. And I hope that this is something everyone can start doing, because it makes life so much better.
What’s even more complicated about today’s beauty standards is that the bodies we are exposed to in media are a very small proportion of the population who are naturally skinny, or starving themselves to be skinny, have had surgery to look like they do, and on top of that are photoshopped. Not even models look like the cover of magazines. Which is why I love this movement of real bodies in advertising. We need better representation of body types in media, so kids can grow up without thinking only a few body types are acceptable.
Sudden increases or decreases in weight can indicate a hormonal or health problem, absolutely. And that is good data to have. But I don’t think having a specific goal in mind is particularly helpful. So if you need to reach 130 pounds on the button because you think you will be healthy, fit, or beautiful at that weight I urge you to pick a different goal. A way healthier and more effective way to think about weight loss is to start improving areas of health and wellness that are associated with maintained weight loss and decreased risk of disease; like eating lots of veggies and little processed food, sleeping well, having a fulfilling social life, decreasing stress, and engaging in moderate physical activity. Maybe if you plateaued 5 pounds from your goal and you’ve done all the above things, and your hormones are in check, you should take that as your body’s sign that this is a good place to be. If to lose those 5 pounds you have to do unhealthy things, maybe being 5 pounds less isn’t a healthy weight for your body. I think we should enjoy feeling good in our bodies and celebrate the amazing things they can do, instead of trying to find happiness in 5 pounds less.
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